A Pair of Tits

Blue Tits live in the Country Side.

Smoking License in England

MiB Press Release:
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DoH (Department of Healthcare) announces the start date for the "Smoking License". From Midnight 2nd January 2008 the Smoking License comes into affect, in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. The Smoking License is an Annual License applicable to all Adults (both sexes) over the age of 17 Years and under the age of 85 Years.

The Smoking License covers the legal right for an adult to Smoke in the United Kingdom which automatically covers smokers with compensation from the Tobacco industry for any Smoking related Health Issues. A percentage of revenue from the Smoking License goes towards the TIC (Tobacco Industry Compensation) Scheme which is also self funded by the Tobacco Industry for the assistance of Smokers.

A small amount of money from each packet of cigarettes sold goes towards the TIC scheme, whose members include British American Tobacco Ltd, Gallaher Ltd and Imperial Tobacco Ltd. In addition to contributing to the TIC Scheme, the Smoking License also covers Smokers rights for free access to Regional Independent Hospices with a guarantee to getting a bed if the need arises.

The Annual Smoking License can be obtained and paid for in the same way as you pay the Television License, at all Post Offices, Tobacconist and Newsagents. The current Fee for 2008-09 is £76 for a Cigarette Smoker, £89 for a Cigar Smoker and £95 for a Pot Smoker. Discounts are available for Households which register more than one Smoker at a discount of 15% per Person.

Also announced Today is the implementation of the "Covenant of Life Seal" which was passed into Law by Parliament last Summer. The C of LS Act makes it mandatory for all Tobacco Manufactures who sell in the United kingdom market place to fix and additional plastic seal on every packet of cigarettes sold in the UK. The Seal when broken forfeits the Rights of every Smoker to automatic access to NHS Services attributed to the action or indirect action of Smoking. This will mean that Smokers will no longer get equal access to NHS Services locally or nationally in the UK.

©2007 MiB (Ministry of Information and Bullshit)

Geordie Fraud

Click on the Thumbnail to read this Witty take on the BBC News Page.

Ipod Grope

The 2nd Generation Ipod touch!

Vaporub Girl

MiB Press Release - Blueberry Tongue Outbreak

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MiB Press Release 21:25GMT
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Defra (Department for Ecology, Fishes and Rural Antics) have confirmed a second outbreak of Blueberry Tongue disease discovered circulating 5 miles from the Cornish coast, off the fishing port of Newlyn, UK.

The disease caused by an aquatic viruses spread by plankton B. affects the Gastro-intestinal tract of aquatic creatures, causing a characteristic external blue-purple staining. Local fisherman Bill Foggity reported the first case on Monday evening after returning from a days fishing for Mackerel. Bill said " I w'ere pull'in up some mackes and I saw a strange pair of lips on the'm they w'ere a bluey colour."

Defra have stressed that the disease cannot be passed to humans or pets but urged the public and local community to remain vigilant. Supermarkets, Fishmongers and local Restaurants have been asked to report any thing out of the ordinary with local fish stocks.

Also announced by defra is a 10 nautical mile exclusion zone has been setup stretching from Porthleven to Castallack. Indicating Buoys have been placed around the zone and HMS Serven the Fisheries Protection Vessel is current patrolling the Area and has orders to stop and inspect any aquatic
livestock entering the protection zone.

©2007 MiB (Ministry of Information and Bullshit)

A Sicko

More info on the movie here

Have You Seen him

If you have seen this Man dial 0800-GUAN-BAY


Previous reported sightings in Afghanistan and Iraq, possibly now on route to Iran.

Heroes Season 3

The Third sequal is always going to be a hard act to follow from the First!

4/12/07: Only kidding it will probably be the best season yet!

OMG Kate Moss's Lashes have had a Photoshop Moment

ASA watchdog Bans Kates Moss's advert for Mascara, apparently her face eyes had been touched up to produce amazing "lashes" which were not here own.
Find out more on this story here.
There is no such thing as bad publicity!

Cadburyski Chocolate Bars

Cadburyski Dairy Milk Chocolate Bars coming to a Supermarket near you.
Background here for more information:-)